There are some things that men do on a daily basis, or at least regularly, things that they would surely like to be kept secret, but today is the big day where I will share with you 7 secret things that ALL men do and which, until now, they hoped were a secret. And maybe they were, but not anymore!
So, ladies and gentlemen (but especially ladies), here are 7 secret, funny and sometimes weird things that all men do. And did until now without you even knowing. Enjoy!
1. The repositioning
When something’s dangling between your feet, it can get into some really strange and uncomfortable positions, so strategical (and secret) repositioning is required: the “hand in the pocket” method works perfect when a nudge is all that’s needed, but sometimes things get a bit funnier when we have to stretch and twist our fit to detach it off our legs, for example. A bit gross, but something all men do.
2. The smelling
If a man just cleaned his belly button, scratched his armpit or used the repositioning described at #1, he is going to smell that finger no matter what. It has to be done. Even if you stare at the man after doing it, he’ll still find a way to get the finger near the nose: gently scratching the upper lip, cleaning the nose… anything to get it done!
3. The love brain freeze
As soon as a man sees a girl that he really likes, he will get a sudden “love brain freeze:” he will stop doing whatever he was doing, no matter if it’s walking, talking, walking or thinking and he will stare at the wonder woman that crossed his way. And this is how we end up hitting traffic cones, doors, utility poles or rottweilers…
4. The target practice
The fact that a man can pee while standing up is never enough. We always have to practice our aiming every time we pee and we’ll always have at least one target in mind whenever we see a new toilet. And we’re always training, as if this were the next sport to make it to the Olympic games!
5. The quick look
We always make fun of girls who use the windows of restaurants, car windows, rain puddles and whatnot to make sure that they look fabulous, but the truth is that we all do it, too. A quick look into an improvised mirror – that’s what’s going to save our lives and confirm that we’ve got our A+ looks with us. (But we never do it when others might catch us do it).
6. The love for stench
Ours, to be more specific. Because there’s nothing that smells better than the stench of our own body. Maybe there was a time when men marked their territories just like dogs do today. And even though fortunately we don’t do that anymore, we still have some of that in our genes, something that makes us love our unpleasant smells: from terrible farts to the smell of the socks that we wore three days in a row, it’s all nothing but satisfaction.
7. The spontaneous erections
They just happen. You’re talking with a girl about the recession and the fact that both your parents lost their jobs and – BAM! – your little fellow pops up thinking it has an opinion too. They just happen and we don’t want to talk about them!
But here you have them – the seven funny secrets men won’t tell. They’re weird, they’re gross, but they’re real. Please share them with the world, because everybody needs to know!