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What Are The Rules of Zombieland? Find them All Out Here

With Zombieland: Double Tap coming soon, it’s time to look back at the original and remember the Zombieland rules to survive the zombie apocalypse.

While I do believe that the sequel will bring more rules into play – since they have become some sort of a cult classic – there are currently just 33 Zombieland rules, and you will be able to check them out below.

But before that, in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is a set of rules set by Zombieland’s main character, Columbus (played by Jesse Eisenberg).

He has his own rulebook: 33 rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse (although there are probably much more – and ever-growing list of rules) and they are equally fun and zany. And, in some cases, they could actually prove useful during a zombie apocalypse.

They sure help the main characters stay alive, so prepare for the sequel by checking out once more the Zombieland rules of survival, listed below:

Zombieland Rule #1: Cardio – You have to be able to run to stay ahead of the zombie horde. Run fast and build up that stamina to outlast them too!

Zombieland Rule #2: The Double Tap – Never consider a zombie dead unless you have double checked, by sending another bullet to their head.

Zombieland Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms – They are tight and they have too many doors where zombies can hide behind. Make sure to double check all stalls before going on with your business.

Zombieland Rule #4: Wear Your Seatbelt – The trailer of Zombieland 2 already shows us why you should always wear the seatbelt: make sure you’re buckled in to avoid additional injury from sudden brakes or extreme steering.

Zombieland Rule #5: No Attachments – Probably the most difficult to follow (as the movies show us, too): but don’t get too attached to your companions as you might have to leave them behind at some point, maybe with some lead in their brain as well…

Zombieland Rule #6: Cast Iron Skillet – the perfect tool for cooking AND taking away zombies that get too close. A mini Swiss knife of the cookware world during the apocalypse.

Zombieland Rule #7: Travel Light – this is a basic rule of survival. You don’t need to carry a ton of things that will slow you down, get you tired and see you consume more energy than you can replenish. Plus, you never know when an emergency arises and you have to hit the road in an instant…

Zombieland Rule #8: Get a Kickass Partner – a pretty common sense thing: as long as you have an experimented zombie killer or survivalist by your side, your chances of survival increase as well.

Zombieland Rule #9: With Your Bare Hands – although not ideal, if you end up in a fistfight with a zombie, you’d better be prepared to land some nice blows before moving away to safety (and hopefully finding a better weapon!).

Zombieland Rule #10: Don’t Swing Low – zombies don’t feel pain so a kick between the legs makes no difference. Remember: it’s just their brain that you have to destroy, and nothing else!

Zombieland Rule #11: Use Your Feet – hopefully you didn’t skip leg day at the gym, because you’ll have to use them constantly: running, kicking, opening doors, carrying stuff around… your feet are really important!

Zombieland Rule #12: Bounty Paper Towels – hygiene is important even during the zombie apocalypse. You don’t want any of that gump on your hands or body, so make sure that you have enough paper towels to stay clean and prevent unnecessary infection.

Zombieland Rule #13: Shake It Off – stay focused on the only thing that matters the most right now: your survival. Everything else, including all the mixed feelings that you’re going to get – just shake them off!

Zombieland Rule #14: Always Carry a Change of Underwear – Going face to face with a zombie when you least expected could have laxative effects. So make sure that you have a spare change, just in case!

Zombieland Rule #15: Bowling Ball – you get a strike if you hit the head with your first try, and it’s just as useful to put rule #2 to practice!

Zombieland Rule #16: Opportunity Knocks – and whenever it does that, make sure to open the door and gratefully receive any gifts that it offers. You never know if that will ever happen again!

Zombieland Rule #17: Don’t Be a Hero – You don’t need a statue erected for your great deeds, you need to stay alive. Being the hero might not help you achieve that – it’s the sad truth in this case. (But, as we later find out – we can scratch out the “don’t” if the situation really requires it!)

Zombieland Rule #18: Limber Up – You don’t want to pull a muscle when you’re on the run or fighting the zombie horde. So always prepare for intense physical activity!

Zombieland Rule #19: Break It Up – With all that tension piling up, with all the stress and the hunger and the zombies… you need to blow off some steam every now and then, so make sure that you let it go. Just make sure you don’t make too much noise when zombies are around!

Zombieland Rule #20: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint – in most cases, at least, so always think long term. Unless you have a zombie breathing at your back – then, it’s a sprint before anything else!

Zombieland Rule #21: Avoid Stip Clubs: you don’t want to get distracted, do you?

Zombieland Rule #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out – make sure that you always have at least one escape route prepared and don’t hesitate to use it as soon as the situation requires it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Zombieland Rule #23: Ziploc – You don’t want moisture to destroy your most valuable belongings, so make sure to always carry them around and put them to good use.

Zombieland Rule #24: Use Your Thumbs – Not only for thumbs up purposes, although that helps a lot. Our thumbs are opposable for a reason, so make sure you take advantage of this particular things.

Zombieland Rule #25: Shoot First – If it’s not a zombie, it has to talk first. If you don’t hear ’em talking, start shooting. Questions are for humans only.

Zombieland Rule #26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody – On the contrary, some protection against the sun can get you a long way. You don’t want to be red as a crab, hurting everywhere, while trying to outrun the zombies, right?

Zombieland Rule #27: Incoming! – always look around and be prepared. Zombies or enemies can come out of nowhere.

Zombieland Rule #28: Double-knot Your Shoes – You don’t want to fall when running away from the horde just because you didn’t tie those laces correctly. Avoid unnecessary risks by double-knotting them!

Zombieland Rule #29: The Buddy System – The more people trying to survive, the better. Have a buddy system in place when not solo, to keep your friends close and your best friends closer.

Zombieland Rule #30: Pack Your Stain Stick – You don’t want blood all over your favorite t-shirt, right? Well… you know now how to deal with that potential problem!

Zombieland Rule #31: Check the Back Seat – Zombies can be sneaky and silent, so make sure that you check everything around you before relaxing and considering the area safe.

Zombieland Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things – Who knows how long you’ll still have most of them? So make sure to get the most out of every moment out there and cherish it as it should. This will help you keep the mood up and sanity levels high.

Zombieland Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife – You can’t carry around a gazillion tools, but a Swiss Army Knife is extremely portable and can always offer you a solution to get out of trouble.

And this would be the complete set of rules from Zombieland, from the main character’s first rule of survival, to the final one.

In anticipation for the release of Zombieland: Double Tap, which will probably come with some additional rules to add to the “official” list… would you have other similarly fun, yet useful rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse?

If you do, don’t hesitate to share them all with us in the comment section below!

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